yesterday was brutal. i had a good day all the way up until the end when julie called and said that we couldn't get our massages because we waited too long and they were all booked. i lost it. i felt ridiculous for being so upset over it but i was just so angry and frustrated and upset. i cried for the rest of the work day(good thing she called around 5:15!), i couldn't wait to get out of here.
eventually i picked something else out and it all worked out, cheaper, and i'll probably like it better than a massage. i'm quite embarrassed by being so upset and pissed over such a silly thing, but i just couldn't help it. it's like nothing is smooth sailing.
julie also booked our hotel for howl weekend. i can't wait for this. i'm deleriously excited about it. it'll be so fun to spend time with the girls and to enjoy the bar. she emailed us saying it's $80. this is the only thing that scares me, seeing as not all our friends have that money. i'm hoping noone backs out, but hey, what's life if there's not a bump in every remote vacation plan i have?!
i also printed out passport paperwork today! i'm excited about this. i was on facebook looking through my events and it reminded me that everyone's planning a trip to buffalo in september. they'll probably make their way to canada too, and i don't want to miss out again because i lack a passport. also, it's good to just have one, that way i wont have to worry about getting one in time for a vacation (and maybe i'll be able to go on a cruise soon!)
all this made me realize how desperatly i need me time. every morning i wake up and have to convince myself not to call out of work. i know i shouldn't because one day in bed is not going to make me feel any better. i need to get away. i need to have fun. weekends are fun, sure, but i mean stress free fun for an extended period of time.
hopefully the above events will provide sufficient me time until may when i get to go to florida. if not i'll have to figure something out.
today debbie was talking to me about surgeries and hospitals. it was really sad that my mind just wandered to that night. it's awful. i quickly flushed the image of my dad laying there hooked up to machines and swollen out of my head. i know it's wrong, but i'm SO glad he didn't look like himself that night, or at the funeral. this way i can remember him for what he always looked like, i think it made things easier for me not to see "dad" in the coffin. ugh.
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